How to get into a good mood in the office - instantly

OK. I've been away for a while. I know you guys missed me, but now the days of sadness are over. I'm back again with more advice, tips and tricks on getting into the good mood.

There are number of tricks on how to get into the good mood. There are ones that get you into a good mood instantly, but there are also the ones that will get you into the good mood after a year or so.

So, let's say you don't really wanna be in a good mood right now, but you'd rather schedule the good mood for some time next year. It's possible, but we won't talk about it now.

Now, we'll talk about getting into the good mood - instantly.

Here is how:
(Important note! Read before proceeding!
If you can read this it means you have a very good vision ... or glasses.
This method is currently under testing phase in NASA laboratories, so you are doing it at your own responsibility. )

This method is to be performed under the supervision of your colleagues from office. So, if you are in the office make sure to call your colleagues to supervise you while getting into the good mood.

It's called Ear pinching and jumping around your axis jack flash method.
So, here is the procedure:
1. gather 2, 3, 5 or 6 colleagues in your office (the ones you can trust) and ask them to supervise you while you conduct this exercise
2. stand up
3. lift your left leg of the floor
4. with your right hand grab your left ear, squeeze it tightly
5. start jumping
6. turn around your axis while you jump and bounce of the floor (and off the walls)
7. fall down in a clumsy way

That's it.

So, let me know how it went and if you have some suggestions to even improve this already perfect exercise - let me know.

Aliens red my blog

It was supposed to be Tuesdays and Thursdays, and now it turned out that I haven't written anything for more than two weeks. That was because I was trapped in a time gap. How did that happen? Aliens kidnapped me on Monday, 27th of August.

It is a long story and I might even rename my blog into "I was kidnapped by Aliens", at least the number of visitors would go up (from one to two or even sky-rocket to three visitors daily).

I did not protest too much as I didn't have to (even could) go to work, so I thought what to heck, as long as they give me a some kind of receipt, something to show to my boss.

They gave me nothing! Bastards! They even claimed that no-one will believe me that I was kidnapped by them. And they were right. He did not believe. So I asked him, do you think I am not saying the truth? He just nodded and said he's sending me off to a seminar that will be held on a distant planet called Belgium. Belgium? And in no time I was beamed up there.

To cut the long story short (but I will definitely come back to Belgium topic especially the super duper hotel called Bedford in Bruxelles and the toilet brush saga).

Anyway, the seminar is over and I am now wondering through another strange planet called Germany (you wouldn't believe how many Germans live here!) trying to find my way back home.

OK. Tomorrow I'm heading off to Austrian Alps, can't really remember the name of the place where we're staying for two days, but I know it's gonna be fun as the forecast forecasts rain until the end of the week by which time I hope to be back home, to Earth.

So, I know you understand now that I couldn't possibly write a blog as so many strange things happened in the last few weeks.

Why should I buy this bag?

I just finished explaining why should you buy the "Collecting Donations for Nikon D3" bag on the Collecting Donations for Nikon D3 blog. And suddenly, out of the totally dull situation it turned out that it is a totally new open field for creativity. I just enjoy finding reasons why would anyone buy this bag and not the other one.
For instance, take a look at this bag:


Admit it! Isn't it hobvious? You will be extremely happy and grateful for having this bag with you once you find yourself on a desert island. Bananas, coconuts ... other fruits, how else would you carry them around the island? That would be a pain in the &#*ss wouldn't it?

And, for instance, this badge:

Regular price for this badge is $248,99 and now it's reduced to: $2,49.
Now how about this price reduction!

Collecting donations for Nikon D3 - The Ultimate T-Shirt

So you want this Nikon D3 camera.
Here is how to get it in three easy steps:
1. Get a "Collecting Donations for Nikon D3" T-Shirt
2. Wear it
3. Collect donations
4. Buy it!

Answering machine message that makes a difference

How about this for an answering machine message..."I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

P.S.
Thanks Janet!

How to write a love letter (Guidelines for boys)

So, you wanna write a love letter, huh?
OK. I wrote a number of love letters back in the old days, none of them were actually sent but I think that the following brief rules should do the job:

Spelling
1. When you write a love letter it would probably be a good idea to spell the name of the person you write to - correctly.

Dictionary
2. Try, as much as you can, to avoid using words "hard-on", babylons, knock-the-monkey-out, masturbation and - George Bush.

Length
3. Also, regardless of size, no need to mention it in the love letter. (At least not in the first one.)

Closure
4. Testing is of a crucial importance here.
First love letter is like a market research. You just wanna find out what works before you actually apply the system.

Therefore, never sign your name in the first love letter. Put your best friends name. Why?

After sending it, observe closely the way she looks at him. If it is "go-ahead look" it means it works. Now you can approach and tell her it was actually you who wrote the letter.

But, if she starts to avoid your friend, it is a clear sign you will have to re-write it and make another test undersigning - yet another friend. Until you succeed. Or run out of friends. Whatever comes first.

OK. Folks, I think that was useful. If you disagree, you can always write to our customer service. Bye for now.

P.S.
Guys, this little Social Bookmark banner, use-it, click to Digg, Stumble, Delicious ... whatever you use. And loads of cosmic positive energy will overwhelm you.

Money can't buy happiness

I had to share this with you.