How to write a love letter (Guidelines for boys)

So, you wanna write a love letter, huh?
OK. I wrote a number of love letters back in the old days, none of them were actually sent but I think that the following brief rules should do the job:

Spelling
1. When you write a love letter it would probably be a good idea to spell the name of the person you write to - correctly.

Dictionary
2. Try, as much as you can, to avoid using words "hard-on", babylons, knock-the-monkey-out, masturbation and - George Bush.

Length
3. Also, regardless of size, no need to mention it in the love letter. (At least not in the first one.)

Closure
4. Testing is of a crucial importance here.
First love letter is like a market research. You just wanna find out what works before you actually apply the system.

Therefore, never sign your name in the first love letter. Put your best friends name. Why?

After sending it, observe closely the way she looks at him. If it is "go-ahead look" it means it works. Now you can approach and tell her it was actually you who wrote the letter.

But, if she starts to avoid your friend, it is a clear sign you will have to re-write it and make another test undersigning - yet another friend. Until you succeed. Or run out of friends. Whatever comes first.

OK. Folks, I think that was useful. If you disagree, you can always write to our customer service. Bye for now.

P.S.
Guys, this little Social Bookmark banner, use-it, click to Digg, Stumble, Delicious ... whatever you use. And loads of cosmic positive energy will overwhelm you.