Good Idea for a Farewell eMail when quitting your job

Another post which is kind of related to winning the lottery, but is also applicable to any situation when it's your last day and the famous farewell email has to be sent.
Here it is, THE eMail:

"As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

How to get into a good mood in the office - instantly

OK. I've been away for a while. I know you guys missed me, but now the days of sadness are over. I'm back again with more advice, tips and tricks on getting into the good mood.

There are number of tricks on how to get into the good mood. There are ones that get you into a good mood instantly, but there are also the ones that will get you into the good mood after a year or so.

So, let's say you don't really wanna be in a good mood right now, but you'd rather schedule the good mood for some time next year. It's possible, but we won't talk about it now.

Now, we'll talk about getting into the good mood - instantly.

Here is how:
(Important note! Read before proceeding!
If you can read this it means you have a very good vision ... or glasses.
This method is currently under testing phase in NASA laboratories, so you are doing it at your own responsibility. )

This method is to be performed under the supervision of your colleagues from office. So, if you are in the office make sure to call your colleagues to supervise you while getting into the good mood.

It's called Ear pinching and jumping around your axis jack flash method.
So, here is the procedure:
1. gather 2, 3, 5 or 6 colleagues in your office (the ones you can trust) and ask them to supervise you while you conduct this exercise
2. stand up
3. lift your left leg of the floor
4. with your right hand grab your left ear, squeeze it tightly
5. start jumping
6. turn around your axis while you jump and bounce of the floor (and off the walls)
7. fall down in a clumsy way

That's it.

So, let me know how it went and if you have some suggestions to even improve this already perfect exercise - let me know.

Aliens red my blog

It was supposed to be Tuesdays and Thursdays, and now it turned out that I haven't written anything for more than two weeks. That was because I was trapped in a time gap. How did that happen? Aliens kidnapped me on Monday, 27th of August.

It is a long story and I might even rename my blog into "I was kidnapped by Aliens", at least the number of visitors would go up (from one to two or even sky-rocket to three visitors daily).

I did not protest too much as I didn't have to (even could) go to work, so I thought what to heck, as long as they give me a some kind of receipt, something to show to my boss.

They gave me nothing! Bastards! They even claimed that no-one will believe me that I was kidnapped by them. And they were right. He did not believe. So I asked him, do you think I am not saying the truth? He just nodded and said he's sending me off to a seminar that will be held on a distant planet called Belgium. Belgium? And in no time I was beamed up there.

To cut the long story short (but I will definitely come back to Belgium topic especially the super duper hotel called Bedford in Bruxelles and the toilet brush saga).

Anyway, the seminar is over and I am now wondering through another strange planet called Germany (you wouldn't believe how many Germans live here!) trying to find my way back home.

OK. Tomorrow I'm heading off to Austrian Alps, can't really remember the name of the place where we're staying for two days, but I know it's gonna be fun as the forecast forecasts rain until the end of the week by which time I hope to be back home, to Earth.

So, I know you understand now that I couldn't possibly write a blog as so many strange things happened in the last few weeks.

Why should I buy this bag?

I just finished explaining why should you buy the "Collecting Donations for Nikon D3" bag on the Collecting Donations for Nikon D3 blog. And suddenly, out of the totally dull situation it turned out that it is a totally new open field for creativity. I just enjoy finding reasons why would anyone buy this bag and not the other one.
For instance, take a look at this bag:


Admit it! Isn't it hobvious? You will be extremely happy and grateful for having this bag with you once you find yourself on a desert island. Bananas, coconuts ... other fruits, how else would you carry them around the island? That would be a pain in the &#*ss wouldn't it?

And, for instance, this badge:

Regular price for this badge is $248,99 and now it's reduced to: $2,49.
Now how about this price reduction!

Collecting donations for Nikon D3 - The Ultimate T-Shirt

So you want this Nikon D3 camera.
Here is how to get it in three easy steps:
1. Get a "Collecting Donations for Nikon D3" T-Shirt
2. Wear it
3. Collect donations
4. Buy it!

Answering machine message that makes a difference

How about this for an answering machine message..."I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

P.S.
Thanks Janet!

How to write a love letter (Guidelines for boys)

So, you wanna write a love letter, huh?
OK. I wrote a number of love letters back in the old days, none of them were actually sent but I think that the following brief rules should do the job:

Spelling
1. When you write a love letter it would probably be a good idea to spell the name of the person you write to - correctly.

Dictionary
2. Try, as much as you can, to avoid using words "hard-on", babylons, knock-the-monkey-out, masturbation and - George Bush.

Length
3. Also, regardless of size, no need to mention it in the love letter. (At least not in the first one.)

Closure
4. Testing is of a crucial importance here.
First love letter is like a market research. You just wanna find out what works before you actually apply the system.

Therefore, never sign your name in the first love letter. Put your best friends name. Why?

After sending it, observe closely the way she looks at him. If it is "go-ahead look" it means it works. Now you can approach and tell her it was actually you who wrote the letter.

But, if she starts to avoid your friend, it is a clear sign you will have to re-write it and make another test undersigning - yet another friend. Until you succeed. Or run out of friends. Whatever comes first.

OK. Folks, I think that was useful. If you disagree, you can always write to our customer service. Bye for now.

P.S.
Guys, this little Social Bookmark banner, use-it, click to Digg, Stumble, Delicious ... whatever you use. And loads of cosmic positive energy will overwhelm you.

Money can't buy happiness

I had to share this with you.

T-Shirt that will last until the day you die

How about buying a T-Shirt which will last until the day you die.
Moreover, it will tell the world what day is it!
So, on your T-Shirt it will read:
"This T-Shirt will last until the day I day, which is 21st of April 2091" (That's in case you were born just last week.)
T-Shirt falls apart the day after.

Now, isn't that the coolest possible way to pick a girl?
You can not get more intimate with than this!

Go and check it oust at http://awfulmart.com and please note: I am in no way commercially connected these people, we just have similar mind-set.

Almond Chocolate Mousse Recipe - Recipe for a Good Mood

This Almond Chocolate Mousse puts you in the Good Mood in a totally natural and healthy way!

Take effort! Do the mousse, try it and have a ball! Amazing!

http:/chocolatemousserecipe.wordpress.com

digg story

Have a blog? Need more visitors? No problem!

I can help! Actually, using the Law of Attraction (see more on wikipedia) today I managed to attract two (2) visitors! I know, it's not too much, but I am working on it.
For starters, using Law of Attraction, I will attract one visitor to your site for free and another one for a beer! How about that? Let me know if you're interested.

Not in a good mood? Generate It!

Good Mood Generator

United States Patent and Trademark Office just received a request for the registration of the new, revolutionary patent - A Good Mood Generator!

Good Mood generator is a tabletop device of a pyramidal shape that just needs to be plugged in to power to start generating a good vibrations that will put everybody in the room in a good mood in no time.

The researches figure that it has to be in pyramidal shape because all these slaves doing pyramid had to be in a good mood while doing it. That, by the way, reveals a zillions of years old secret of how the heck they managed to build these pyramids back then. The workers were in the good mood and you can do just ANYTHING when you're in the good mood. You can punch your neighbors kid or ... just anything.

Anyways, let's go back to our subject.

All that you need to do is plug the device to the electrical outlet and ... voila! Good mood for everyone!!!

Although the good mood generator is not available for sale yet I have some good news for your good mood questers! An eBook that precisely explains how to build your own Good Mood Generator is available for sale ... soon!

And while this book is being finished we can offer you an Instant Good Mood solution in another good mood book that's just sooo silly that you will absolutely become hilarious the minute you start reading it! You will love it!

And what's best, we even offer a good mood warranty!

If you don't get a feeling of a good mood while reading this book we'll get someone to tickle you!

Is that stupid or what???
Anyway, if you had just a half as much fun reading this post as I had writing it, you are now in a good mood. If not - re-read it. 'Cause it's funny! It really is ... c'mon it's fun ...

CVS Photo to offer Free Framed Photo - of the Employee of the Month

Now, that would be a really cool campaign. Just imagine a Press Release:

For every purchase above $60 CVS Photo is giving away a free photo of their employee of the Month. And a framed one too! (8"x11") Customers can pick the frame type and color. Also, customers can get a free T-Shirt with a picture of the Employee of the Month!

Imagine how decorative and cool it would be to have a photo of some totally unknown guy hanging in your hallway! And your friends ask you: "Who's that guy?" and you answer proudly: "That's CVS Photo Employee of the month. August."

That would be something new. I mean people would talk about it more than they talk about some useful give-aways. That would be a true viral-marketing campaign.

Unfortunately, it will take a while until companies realize the true power of imaginative and creative marketing.

How do I know that you will get FREE positive energy if you blog about this site?

It's really simple. We all know that positive energy comes from the good mood. If you read this blog, eventually, you'll get into the good mood. And if you blog about it - you get SUPERPOWERS! The more you blog - the more powers you get! Eventually, you get so powerful that it's like ... crazy! Try it!

Vampires Health Magazine - A Magazine for Healthy Vampires!

I just came up with this great idea! There are so many people outside that are actually vampires tha you wouldn't believe that! How about that for a niche market. So, here is the cover page and the content outline for the first issue, investors you are more than welcome!



Vampire's Health
Magazine for healthy vampires

Cover story:
C O F F I N S
- Coffins for everyone
- In-depth review of 5 summer models from 5 leading US coffin manufacturers
(Peace and Quiet; Easy Coffin; Black Bird Coffin; Sunrise; Lullaby Coffin)

- Noise reduction in coffins: Find your own peace, latest technology explored
Article preview:
“Does it sometimes happen that kids in the yard scream so loud that you cannot find peace and sleep in your own coffin? In this issue we examine the latest technology of noise-reduction systems in coffins.”

- Summer coffins, keep it cool, the best coffin air-conditioning solutions

PORTABLE COFFINS: Take it with wherever you go (coffin backpack solutions)

Lifestyle:
- Three minutes before sunrise; push your adrenaline to the next level

Fashion:
- Cylinders: What's in, what's out, is green/pink combo the choice of the summer?

Survival:
The worst types of garlic revealed
Fake garlics: Did you fall for it?

Eating (Dining) with style:
Sneeze before you bite

Confessions:
- I had a salad

True stories:
- She left me after 2000 years

Making money on-line:
A fully fledged vampire web site in three easy steps, how to attract visitors
Complaints: FedEx delivered in daylight? Why can’t (don't) they understand?

Travel:
Traveling across the ocean: Getting there (in a) safe!
The best cargo agencies

Report from Europe:
Unexplored undergrounds - The Paris underground secrets revealed!

In our next edition:
A complete vampire’s weight loss program, loose 2 pounds in 7 nights

Find out more in the new issue of Vampires Health Magazine, A Magazine for HEALTHY Vampires!