Only few selected people know about this blog

I was checking my stats for this blog the other day.
Ok, I ain't promoting it, thats' the true. Even my wife doesn't come here unless I kindly ask her.
But still, zero visits?? And for a few days in a row??
But, then I decided to be proud of my blog.
Because, obviously - it's a secret blog!

Google and FBI decided to make a pilot project of hiding some of the blogs and this is one of them.

It's being visited by FBI agents from time to time and that's it. (They need to check, you know, standard operating procedure)

So, if you are reading this blog and you ain't no FBI agent, then you should feel proud of yourself too. Because you are privileged. Read as much as you can because it may disappear from your screen any moment now ...

Can't make up your mind about what to do? Let me help you.

So, you can't make up you mind about what to do, huh?

This is a common problem. You're not alone.
There's even a song about it, quite popular back in the... well very old. It's called "Should I stay or should I go", by barely known punk-rock band called The Clash. Very very old, they were found somewhere at the time when US was discovered by that blog Galileo.

But, every problem has a solution! Well, at least most of them, have, some kind of solution.

OK. Let's be honest, some problems have a solution and some just don't. Learn to live with it!

Fine, I'll be brutally honest: Most of the problems don't have a solution. Almost none of them!
And yes, you are mortal but that's not a real problem for Christs sake!
So, just drop it!

OK, where was I? Ah, talkin' to myself, writing rubbish.
So, you can't make up your mind about, say, what to do.
Why do you think I'd know how to help you? Just because it's in the header of this post? One more lesson: Never, never trust the header. It's usually misleading. Actually, this article is about growing artichokes!

Don't you just sit and stare at the monitor! Go, grow artichokes!

Look, if you stare at the screen for long enough your ears will grow double size, (sometimes even triple, depends on the size of the screen according to some research done by some University).

Just wait to see how you funny you will look at the section meeting tomorrow. Funny head, cross-eyed (that happens if you move the mouse too much) super-sized ears. Particularly efficient if you have a sales pitch or something...

OK, that's it... what? you didn't like the article? well UP YOURS! Go, make a better one and post the link in the comment, now go ... shush! go go!

P.S.
You could as well do something useful, that is if you REALLY don't want to grow artichokes. Go, collect money for your new camera. (Click on that link to see which one I'm talking about. I'm tired of writing... Why don't somebody pay me to write this sh!t? People get payed for all kinds of ... ah, whatever!)

T-Shirt that will last until the day you die

How about buying a T-Shirt which will last until the day you die.
Moreover, it will tell the world what day is it!
So, on your T-Shirt it will read:
"This T-Shirt will last until the day I day, which is 21st of April 2091" (That's in case you were born just last week.)
T-Shirt falls apart the day after.

Now, isn't that the coolest possible way to pick a girl?
You can not get more intimate with than this!

Go and check it oust at http://awfulmart.com and please note: I am in no way commercially connected these people, we just have similar mind-set.

Have a blog? Need more visitors? No problem!

I can help! Actually, using the Law of Attraction (see more on wikipedia) today I managed to attract two (2) visitors! I know, it's not too much, but I am working on it.
For starters, using Law of Attraction, I will attract one visitor to your site for free and another one for a beer! How about that? Let me know if you're interested.

Not in a good mood? Generate It!

Good Mood Generator

United States Patent and Trademark Office just received a request for the registration of the new, revolutionary patent - A Good Mood Generator!

Good Mood generator is a tabletop device of a pyramidal shape that just needs to be plugged in to power to start generating a good vibrations that will put everybody in the room in a good mood in no time.

The researches figure that it has to be in pyramidal shape because all these slaves doing pyramid had to be in a good mood while doing it. That, by the way, reveals a zillions of years old secret of how the heck they managed to build these pyramids back then. The workers were in the good mood and you can do just ANYTHING when you're in the good mood. You can punch your neighbors kid or ... just anything.

Anyways, let's go back to our subject.

All that you need to do is plug the device to the electrical outlet and ... voila! Good mood for everyone!!!

Although the good mood generator is not available for sale yet I have some good news for your good mood questers! An eBook that precisely explains how to build your own Good Mood Generator is available for sale ... soon!

And while this book is being finished we can offer you an Instant Good Mood solution in another good mood book that's just sooo silly that you will absolutely become hilarious the minute you start reading it! You will love it!

And what's best, we even offer a good mood warranty!

If you don't get a feeling of a good mood while reading this book we'll get someone to tickle you!

Is that stupid or what???
Anyway, if you had just a half as much fun reading this post as I had writing it, you are now in a good mood. If not - re-read it. 'Cause it's funny! It really is ... c'mon it's fun ...

Vampires Health Magazine - A Magazine for Healthy Vampires!

I just came up with this great idea! There are so many people outside that are actually vampires tha you wouldn't believe that! How about that for a niche market. So, here is the cover page and the content outline for the first issue, investors you are more than welcome!



Vampire's Health
Magazine for healthy vampires

Cover story:
C O F F I N S
- Coffins for everyone
- In-depth review of 5 summer models from 5 leading US coffin manufacturers
(Peace and Quiet; Easy Coffin; Black Bird Coffin; Sunrise; Lullaby Coffin)

- Noise reduction in coffins: Find your own peace, latest technology explored
Article preview:
“Does it sometimes happen that kids in the yard scream so loud that you cannot find peace and sleep in your own coffin? In this issue we examine the latest technology of noise-reduction systems in coffins.”

- Summer coffins, keep it cool, the best coffin air-conditioning solutions

PORTABLE COFFINS: Take it with wherever you go (coffin backpack solutions)

Lifestyle:
- Three minutes before sunrise; push your adrenaline to the next level

Fashion:
- Cylinders: What's in, what's out, is green/pink combo the choice of the summer?

Survival:
The worst types of garlic revealed
Fake garlics: Did you fall for it?

Eating (Dining) with style:
Sneeze before you bite

Confessions:
- I had a salad

True stories:
- She left me after 2000 years

Making money on-line:
A fully fledged vampire web site in three easy steps, how to attract visitors
Complaints: FedEx delivered in daylight? Why can’t (don't) they understand?

Travel:
Traveling across the ocean: Getting there (in a) safe!
The best cargo agencies

Report from Europe:
Unexplored undergrounds - The Paris underground secrets revealed!

In our next edition:
A complete vampire’s weight loss program, loose 2 pounds in 7 nights

Find out more in the new issue of Vampires Health Magazine, A Magazine for HEALTHY Vampires!